They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
