its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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