Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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