my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize