Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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