Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
