Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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