He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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