Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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