my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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