I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
