I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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