the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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