fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
