I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
