so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
