how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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