but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
