Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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