I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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