I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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