I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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