He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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