I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
nutella sex= disaster
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
