addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
