so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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