He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
