i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
