I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
