i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
