i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
