I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
