Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
