D3 body, D1 cock
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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