your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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