oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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