So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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