that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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