What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
