totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
