i permit you to call me
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
