need another drink. this is the easiest way
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
