turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
