Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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