part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
