If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize