Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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