Sponge bath it is.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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