you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Did I show you my penis last night?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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