I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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