I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
