i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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