I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
