I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
