dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
