Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
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She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
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I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize