I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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