oh god the rape fog is back!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize