Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
