found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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