I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You are a genius and a whore.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize