id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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