jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you have to choose: penises or morals?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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